Saturday, June 5, 2010

....Amma


I have never met her....but have seen her only in photographs. I have never spoken to her...but have only talked about her a lot.... I had (till tonight it was 'have') a dream of meeting her, listening to her, seeing her laugh....and tonight decided that my dream shall never be fulfilled.

Off late I was told that she referred to me a lot, about seeing me, and of me taking her around....I am so sorry Amma that I couldn't fulfill your wish.... I am sorrier for myself that I couldn't receive your blessed blessings.... I am so sorry that I am not there.... I am sorry that I have failed miserably....

Thank you Amma for loving me without even knowing me... And I thank Him that he gave me a little place in your blessed life.

May God bless you.
May your soul rest at peace.
Ameen.

We will miss you all our lives.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Lovely Lovable Rain

Have you ever fallen asleep at night listening to the rain drumming against your roof? Being born in Assam, God has blessed me with hundreds of such nights. I love the rain..and I'm never tired of it...

Having grown up in upper Asssam, I have enjoyed rains like anything... All greenery become greener.. Everything around becomes flushed with freshness... And the moments before the actual shower...Oh..I love those moments....the skies become dark grey..and against that backdrop the green trees...and the cool breeze making the leaves flutter like thousands of butterflies...It looks so very beautiful....And then the rains come..it starts a little distance away from me..and I can see and hear it approaching where I stand...and the scent of raw earth. I have spent so much time simply sitting on chair in our home veranda and watching the rain fall... The feeling is heavenly.... As a child, I would love making paper boats and let it float in the puddle... and when it would rain hail, me and my sister would collect the hailstones in a mug or a bowl and then bring them inside....

Now that I stay in Guwahati 'city'.... rains mean flash floods, water logging, traffic jams and house arrests!! I often hear people complaining of rains after a couple of rainy days (the same people also complain when it doesn't!). But still I cannot complain about rain.... I might be called selfish and unthoughtful, but I simply cannot help it...

This summer has been good in Assam...blessed with rains since beginning of April..and the spells are still continuing.... Last night I was not able to sleep.. but the rains came again at late night (after a break) and finally lulled me to sleep....

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Difficult Words


How often do you find yourself in a situation when you have to say something to a person which might often him/her...or strain your personal relationship...yet you got to say it to accomplish a goal or motive...or to avoid or to rather prevent future conflicts.

I have found myself in such situations quite a few number of times..the latest one being very very recent..I wouldn't like to mention the incident at this point of time though. In such a situation where I cannot avoid not saying because it would complicate things and my thoughts/feelings regarding that further, I look for a suitable environment or time...before meal or after, morning/afternoon/evening/night..then comes suitable mode of communication...verbal/written, letter/mail....face to face/phone...and finally the exact words to be said...and the tone of course... In short, all rules of communication are applicable... Believe me it's a very tough job...

One more situation common with me is when I'm intolerably angry and pissed off with someone...have carried/subdued my anger for long enough and I'm at no peace! And I have to let out my anger and convey my feelings to that person...Normally I am patient and wait till the time I can bear no more. There also I need to plan my words to reflect my feelings!

Although such situations can be tricky especially when it is difficult to say how the other person will take it an d react..The closer the person is to you, more difficult it becomes... It is also awfully difficult with friends because high chances are there that he/she would be offended enough to draw swords with you. Yet I have realized that such times need to be faced if unpleasant consequences (in the long run) are to be avoided...Sometimes we just cannot afford to be all goody-goody and allow to be made a fool...