Sunday, May 20, 2012

My Ma.. My Ideal


"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh.

I am my parents' first-born and Ma had me when she was quite young. She had married young and though she had her ups and downs in life, she left no stone un-turned in bringing up her daughters in the best way possible. She is the backbone of Deta and his strength in troubled times. Although she's the most matured lady I have known, she has a lively streak of child-likeness.

Ma is incomplete without her 'directions'. She has one direction for us all whenever we are doing something. For example, if I am cleaning my shoes, she will direct me to wash my hands (even when I know that I should do so!); when Deta is driving, she would direct him to be careful as there is a rickshaw ahead; when anyone is moving around the house bare-footed and then going to climb on the bed, she would direct us to go and wash our feet first. Examples are innumerable but her directions are never enough! But, no matter how much we complain, we have to admit that she's an excellent organizer, planner and family manager.

Ma cannot sit idle around the house. She has to do something or the other. So when she comes to visit me, she finds herself lots of things to do primarily cleaning and scrubbing every nook and corner of the house and organizing things. So right now, my place is sparkling.

Ma is a 'Queen of worries'. There is no issue under the sun, about which she can not worry. She has the capacity of an ocean in this matter. She can worry and take tension just about anything; be it her family or acquaintance of a distant acquaintance.  She covers them all. 

Ma is an epitome of patience and perseverance and has limitless faith in the Almighty. Like any other family, ours too have had our share of hard times. And every time Ma becomes the life-jacket of her family. She is like the sponge that soaks all water but does not show that she is drenched too. She never loses her faith and keeps us afloat. She always believes that if God closes a door, He opens another too. Ma loves to live in a cheerful environment and hates it when people around her are gloomy and not smiling.

Ma is a learner. If she does not know something, she does not shy away from asking. Since she married young, she got up in familial responsibilities and somehow could not pursue higher studies. But she never lost her hunger for knowledge. She is always eager to learn, no matter how big or small the thing may be. She loves to read and almost everyday she has some time to spare to do that.

Like any mother, Ma is emotional. She would get emotional when she realizes that her daughters have grown up, that they can cook and take care of themselves and of her and Deta too. Besides being emotional, Ma is also very soft-spoken and generous. I have never heard her say a harsh word when any relative or acquaintance had been rude or unkind to her. She would always bear it and let it pass. Even when her own kin would be selfish and unkind to her, no bitter word escapes her mouth. But she would not fail to help those very same people when in need.

Ma has always been open with children. She is not the serious type mothers whom we should fear. As my sister and I grew up, she started treating us like her friends with whom she would share her thoughts and feelings. She never  hid or hides any family problems or difficulties and matters. And that gave us maturity and responsibility.

Apart from all the seriousness, Ma is fun too. She's game when I say let's have macaroni for lunch or pizza for dinner. And sits down with me to enjoy shows like MTV Roadies! When we are together, Ma and I can shop and window shop till we drop and often leave the shops  through half closed shutters or back doors!  Recently I introduced her to the art of online shopping and she is all into it. Surprisingly, my sister is not much into shopping and is a very impatient shopper.

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren.

As a daughter, I feel extremely lucky and thankful to God that He chose me to be one of Ma's daughters. I shall be ever indebted to my Ma for being my rock and can never do enough to repay her. She is my ideal. I try and incorporate all her  goodness in my being and in the way I live my life. The only thing I do not want to learn is her art of worrying. What I have learned in my short life is that it is better to take one day at a time and not worry much about what and how things would be in the future. I say the same to Ma and sometimes she seems to be doing that. But old habits die hard! However, it is mostly her children she worries about. Sometimes, I feel she lived her life the way she did for the sake of her daughters. Every decision she made, in her every action, we were her priority. 

"No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star." ~Edwin Hubbell Chapin

It is said that mother is the first teacher of a child. True. Ma have taught us patience, perseverance, humility, love and faith. She has taught us to be calm, thankful and kind. She showed us how to maintain social relationships and live the personal ones. If, as a daughter, I am not able to follow her footsteps, it is my tragedy, not hers. I do not know about other things, but I have definitely learned to give directions! Ma has always taught us to be independent yet she always been our anchor. For every child, his or her mother is the best mother. And so is mine for me. I do not say it often, but I really love you Ma and I am very proud to be your daughter. 

"God cannot be everywhere, so He created mothers." ~Jewish Proverb.